There are two distinct categories – those elements which we have little or no control over and those that we have some or a lot.

Your physical appearance, your financial status, your education and present interests are those aspects of who you are that you can either do very little about, or that will take some time to change.

Grooming and fashion are two aspects that you have more control over. Looking squeaky clean and being nicely dressed are certainly desirable. You can always get a fashion minded friend to help you organize what you wear, and perhaps get a few new pieces that are more in style.

Then there is one element you have total control over. And in many ways it is the most important of all.

YOUR SMILE.

Usually discussions about what makes us attractive to the opposite sex start off with physical attraction. When people arrive in a social situation they often have the tendency to look around and take an inventory of the appearance of those present. Are they attracted to anyone?

Perhaps because no one seems ‘interesting’ (in the physical sense) or because of discomfort or shyness, many people never use their best asset fully – their smile.

And yet, what does a great smile communicate to everyone in the room, the dance, the club, the lecture???

Openness…that you are approachable…it is like an invitation.

What else?

That you are happy with life…who wants to be with someone who’s down on life!?

What else?

That you have self-confidence…one of the most attractive things about a person.

Not smiling and making up ones mind about the lack of possibilities of meeting people or the right person simply by a superficial look around, is something I call ‘CRYSTAL BALLING’. I always like to ask those people if they can also tell me the winning numbers in the next LOTTO drawing.

What do I mean?

Without sounding trite and using a phrase like, “Don’t judge a book by its cover” there is something even more important that these ‘psychics’ miss. And that is that each person, whether they appeal to you or not, whether they will become your soul mate or not represent a large network of people they could introduce you to if only they would get to know what a wonderful person you are.

But you’re never going to give them the chance, because if they come up to you you’ll be politely disinterested, and you’re certainly not going to go up to them, lest they think you’re interested in them.

For those of you who are ready to try a new approach to meeting people – TRY SMILING – A LOT.

In my workshops on relationships I often give homework assignments that require a person to smile at everyone he or she meets for a day. The results they come back with are always pleasantly surprising .