This past Tuesday The Human Development Company held a singles workshop at the Huntington Hilton. The seminar focused on how we can create a soul mate. The right person is out there waiting for you.

What is required are two main ingredients – 1) knowing exactly what you believe about relationships, the opposite sex, and yourself and 2) knowing with clarity what you want in a soul mate and having your list in priority order.

The first is your point of departure– the second is your goal.

Without knowing who and where you are and where you want to get to, it is impossible to create meaningful results.

At the end of the workshop, one of the participants, Joanne, came up to me and asked me how to handle a first date.

So let me ask you -

How do you handle your first date?

What are your hopes and expectations?

What have you already determined about this person?

Here is one of the most important ‘Commandments’ about dating.

Never go on a first date with a stranger!!

What I mean is someone you haven’t spent lots of time with. Someone whose history is vague or non-existent – a date is not where you should start finding out about a person.

Make it clear to yourself first and then to the person of the opposite sex, that just because you’re both adults, the simple rules of getting to know someone, like it was appropriate in younger days, still apply.

Those people (men or women) who think that sex should be available right away are not for you.

Any form of sex or intimacy with someone you haven’t grown fond of can either make you ‘fall in love’ with the supplier of the passion, without knowing who this person really is, or make you judge and dismiss someone because they are not passionate enough for you, and never getting to know a warm, compassionate person, who later would become a fine sexual partner.

So – 1) get to know someone real well - do lots of things together as friends – talk a lot – meet each other's friends and family - and if you can establish a good relationship, become comfortable being with this person - and if some chemistry exists - then go on a date.

Dates, without the proper foundation, are high-pressure situations.

How can we make such a quick decision about another person as dates usually require - without being a psychic with a crystal bowl? Do we want to have them decide who we are based on meeting us only once? Especially if we like them?

We put way to much pressure both on ourselves and the other person.

There is another, proven way.

TO BE CONTINUED....

The Human Development Company will have its next workshop for singles April 8th at the Huntington Hilton. 516 616 3940 631 574 4004

We apologize to those who wanted to join our singles workshop Feb.11th and couldn't get through – our telephone system let us down. Thank God, all numbers are back working again.