Developmental Psychotherapy - Finding Your Perfect Soulmate

Finding Your Soul Mate -
How to create the Perfect Relationship

Imagine finding someone who you seemed to know forever. Strange how much you think alike, though not always agreeing. This person knows your weaknesses and strengths, and is always nurturing and encouraging. You have the same sense of humor, laugh at yourselves, rather than others. You feel at ease being yourself - a very liberating feeling. You know you are not being judged or evaluated. You want to do for this person without caring about getting things in return. Sex is the last thing on your mind as you constantly look into his/her eyes.

Here are some important guidelines to apply to any new relationship:

Familiar - like brother, friend, or father/mother. Being comfortable with this person, non-sexual but attractive, you actually don't notice them physically as much.

Trust. Wanting to open up to this person with the truth about your past, present - not threatened, open and wanting to know about the other, not forcing information.

Syncronic. Saying things at the same moment - thinking and hearing the other say it just before you do.

Playful. Finding it easy to be yourself - not feeling self-conscious - no need for your usual 'adult act' - laugh a lot - spontaneous - life doesn't seem as serious - even the serious topics become lighter.

Need to look into the other's eyes - drawn to their Spirit - other physical characteristics fade -

Conversation - talking is exciting, a sense of being understood, can talk for hours on end, not a precursor to sex.

Giving is extremely important - the other person's happiness is paramount - you never think about yourself.

When we are very aware of another's physical features/attractiveness we are going off into the wrong direction - that love at first sight, passion, 'can't get someone out of your mind' feeling usually signals that your needs taking over. The need to be in a relationship, the need to be loved, the need to have someone love you. You will rarely be yourself, wanting too much to be liked, and create the relationship based on the wrong fundamentals.